


Star Ocean

by notyourleo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Alone Together, F/M, Falling In Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Holding Hands, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyourleo/pseuds/notyourleo
Summary: Cal and Merrin follow the trail of the surviving Zeffos to the great unknown, hoping they would also find peace.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 39
Kudos: 78





	1. Duel of the Stars

**STAR OCEAN**

* * *

**PART ONE: DUEL OF THE STARS**

Greez couldn't help but rub all his hands together in anticipation. He placed his bid to the dealer that the dice would fall into Snake Eyes formation. The handler placed the dice into the cup, shake them, and slammed the cup face down. The dealer then began collecting and taking notes of the bets pooled into this round. When the Snake Eyes appeared, Greez tried to contain his glee. The losing gamblers gave their bets to the winners, which Greez happily took from them. 

From across the gambler's table, a lone nightsister stood with her plain dark robes enclosed around her, the lower half of her face covered, her silver hair was tucked between her ears, and what remained was her piercing dark eyes. She wore her travelling cloak heavily around her. They were not the beautiful, red ceremonial robes that she had always worn when she was in Dathomir. She had muted her beauty to hide from the Imperial soldiers and bounty hunters. She watched his friend in silence. Greez exclaimed, "Come on baby, give me Royalty!"

With a small flick of the nightsister's wrist--and her eyes flashing green for a split second--the dice tumbled and landed with their faces on the Royals--the King on one die and the Queen on the other. When the cup was lifted, Greez found himself yelling in triumph as the dice were in his favour once more.

Someone was coming from the nightsister's left. A young man with a small droid riding on his back. A lightsaber rested on the side of his hip, concealed by the dark blue poncho. He wore goggles and a scarf around his face and head, his dull red hair peeking out from the fabrics. 

Cal would recognize his companion anywhere, just from the way she carried herself around. He stood beside her, leaning against the building wall. "Are you letting him win all the time?"

"No," she said curtly. "It will raise suspicion, so a loss is important in this strategy. But do not worry. We will come out with the credits we need for food and supplies. Then we will go to bigger dens, for a bigger catch."

She flicked her wrist again. When the dice was revealed, Greez cried in agony. He gave a small side-ways look at Merrin. 

Cal rubbed his nose. "Let's hope he didn't bet all of our credits away first." BD-1 chirped in agreement. 

When the other players of the gambling table were becoming more agitated the more they lose, that was the cue for Greez to leave. He pocketed the winnings and skittered towards Cal and Merrin. "Here you go, guys. You have the shopping list so I'm just going to go find Cere and we'll meet you on the ship." Greez surprised Cal with a flash of loose credits into the air. 

Cal gingerly caught most of them and held them carefully in his hands, a few of them started to fall to the floor. "Wait, Greez, do you need someone to--"

When Cal looked up, Greez was already blending into the crowd, away from the marketplace. The gamblers from the table had started to get up and began their search for the missing Latero. 

The little droid on Cal's back beeped with concern. "I hope he finds Cere on time, just in case," Cal said to his robotic companion. "She shouldn't be too far." 

They lingered for a bit to make sure none tried to follow Greez. None of them wandered too far and went back into business, so Cal and Merrin made their way deeper into the marketplace. Merrin recalled the first weeks out here in the galaxy when they had landed on trading planets for supply runs, when they were not going between Bogano, Zeffo, or Kasshyyk. She was overwhelmed by the sights and sounds that were not known throughout her life. She was overwhelmed by the hundreds of languages and the hundreds of species from across the galaxy. She was quickly alienated from all of it. Her time in Dathomir--and what she truly knew about the universe--was so limited and made her small. 

But with Cal Kestis by her side, and the support and guidance of rest of the Mantis crew behind her, there was nothing she could not overcome. The universe was her to explore and conquer. 

Once they have everything they needed, they counted what needed to be set aside for the next supply run, and what they could recreationally use for themselves. They had some spares credit left.

Cal was chatting her up on potentially trying something exotic for lunch when they almost walked past a textile stand. Different, colourful patterned fabrics of shapes and size caught Merrin's eye, but up on display at the walls were dark heavy set robes.

"Cal." With one word, her companion had quiet down. "Would you be open to having a change of wardrobe?"

"Oh, me?" He looked at himself and touched his poncho. "I'm...not really sure if that's necessary. I look fine."

Merrin did a look-over Cal. "Perhaps. But you are a Jedi Knight, no? Your ponchos are nice. But a robe would suit you better." 

BD-1 seemed to beep in agreement.

"Yeah..." Cal dreamt of wearing the robes of those who were in the Jedi Order, but ever since the rise of the Empire, he wanted no association with the Jedi in the material sense. He and his friends have been in undercover ever since the attack on Nur. Not really hiding, but not really on the forefront of the fight. The Order of the Inquisitors was still spread out across the galaxy. Wearing those robes would have branded him as a Jedi, and would be bad news for him. He had not met another one of his own ever since he left Bracca. That, or he was just one of the unlucky ones. 

Cal had recently celebrated his 19th standard year in this universe. There was still much of the galaxy he had yet to explore, yet to see and experience, but it seemed like his five years in Bracca had taught him enough about the world and everything within it: to trust no one, and only trusting in the Force.

He looked unto the stalls. There was too much trauma attached to these robes. Where had the vendor found them? Was it crafted by them to scam people into buying a relic of the old order? Stolen or exhumed from a Fallen Jedi? 

Merrin went to the vendor and began haggling for a dark cloak that had a blue-ish tint. Once the price was settled she offered the robe to him. It was less of a tunic robe of the Old Republic and more of a cloak that simply draped over its shoulders. A wanderer's robe. A symbol of a lost Jedi.   
  
He was afraid to touch it. He feared that he would have to relive the memories of its former wearer if there was one. "Can you....hold it for me until we get back to the ship?"

Merrin's eyes seemed to peer into Cal's soul before embracing the cloak to her chest. "Of course."

###

The robe was left untouched, folded under Cal's bunk bed. 

###

There was no planet that the Galactic Empire could never reach. Wherever the Mantis went, whatever planet the crew had laid their foot on, would eventually be found by the Empire. Whether it was within the next hour, the next day, or in a few years. The Empire would know they were there. If they could not find them, the Empire would just be there to plunder and kill. The excessive extraction of material, the enslavement of the local population, the hunting of animals and local fauna, the deforestation and poisoning of bodies of water... These were the telltale signs of a planet falling victim to evils of imperialism.

In the confines of the Mantis, it seemed like it was going to be this way for a long time. Just the four of them travelling across the galaxy, helping the Rebellion whenever they could, but never really getting themselves deeply involved, to get sucked into the fight. This flip-flop commitment to the rebellion came with several different reasons. 

One of them being that the crew was falling apart.

Ever since the destruction of the Holocron, there had been ideological tensions with the crew. Cere still wanted to rebuild the Jedi Order, and believed remaining unrooted and travelling across the galaxy in other far-flung worlds would be the key to eventually finding the other lost Jedis and begin the process of consolidation, to reclaim the former glory of the Jedi and defeat the Empire. This was Cere's way of atoning to what had happened in the past, with her former padawan, Trilla. The unrest in her heart was still evident, and the hunger for redemption showed on her shoulders. Through this, she and Trilla could be redeemed from the hurt they have inflicted upon the galaxy.

Cal was still struggling with his decision to destroy the Holocron and have often found himself clashing against Cere whether he had done the wrong or right thing. Cere did not blame him for his decision, but now it seemed they have become lost, trying to find the next clue to lead them to the right path. 

In some days Cal sometimes wished he didn't listen to Merrin. In some days he wished he didn't see the vision of the Zeffo if that was only a vision of one possible outcome out of infinite outcomes that could potentially happen if he founded a new school of Jedi. He knew, though, that was not how the Force worked. The loneliness of being one of the last remaining Jedis was getting to him. Aside from Cere, he has not met one in their travels for more than a year now. 

Following the footsteps of Cordova's journey to get the Holocron had made him curious about what was out there beyond Jedi history. Time and time again he was taught by his former master that the Dark side was a dangerous venture; once you had a taste of it, it would just happen all at once. He had seen it all in a vision, of what he could have been if he had given in the Dark side and became an Inquisitor. But Merrin was proof it was not always so. She was kind and quiet if not terse about her words. Granted, he had not met all the Nightsisters of Dathomir. He heard the stories during the Clone Wars. And he could never imagine himself harnessing the power of the Dark side no matter how tempting it was. He was, first and foremost, a servant of the light. 

In the kitchenette of the Mantis, Cal and watched the logs Cordova left with BD-1.

"My friend, I flew with all haste to the Coruscant and presented my findings to the Council." Cordova sounded so distraught in this recording, so resigned. "Despite my persistence, despite my research, they did not take this threat seriously. Only one person believed in me. My old confidant, Jocasta Nu. She entrusted me with a Holocron from the Jedi Archives -- a secret copy of her list of young Force-sensitives." 

That Holocron was now bits and pieces floating in space. Cal ran his hands down to his face in frustration. It seemed that their next lead would be to find Jocasta Nu, if she had been the one who provided the list of young Force-sensitives, then she may have had more information on how to rebuild the Jedi order. 

Cal passed the information regarding finding Jocasta Nu to Cere, and they began finding a trail to her last known location across the galaxy. It had been six years now since the Purge, but even if Nu was gone, there must be some remnants they could trace back to...to something.

But Cal couldn't shake the fact that there was more to the Zeffo. He knew they were the key. Not to restore the Jedi Order, but something far more ancient, far more powerful, bigger than the galaxy itself. 

###

Merrin had no separate quarters compared to the three of them, so she had been sleeping on the couches. She did not complain; the main deck was spacious with many couches, and she made an effort of making herself comfortable whenever she could. 

Her nightly routine consisted of meditating with her magick, holding her talisman in her hands. It would go for two standard hours before she was done, and she would then begin her preparations for sleep. It was hard to keep track of time in the Mantis, but when the crew recognize the beginning of her meditation, it usually meant they had been awake for too long. She was usually the last person to go to bed, and the first one to get up. By the time she was finished meditating, the lights in the ship had already dimmed except for the terrarium. 

But tonight, when she opened her eyes and dispelled the green mist around her, Cal Kestis was still sitting on the couch she usually slept in. He was staring into the unknown, lost in the sea of his thoughts. He had been like that for the whole day and had not said anything except when he was forced to engage in small talk during meals, or when he was being inquired about certain things by Cere.

"Are you not going to bed, Cal?" She remarked. 

That seemed to break him from the daze he was in. "I..." He shook his head, seeming to shake away bits and pieces of his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I know it's pretty late, but..." He looked at her. "Can I speak to you, for a moment?" 

Merrin let two seconds go by. "Of course." She sat beside him and said nothing. She had known Cal enough that prodding and probing him with questions was not the right way. This was one of those rare nights where their walls between them could go down just a little, and be open about their emotions. They were not speaking as a Jedi or a Nightsister. They were speaking as survivors. 

His eyes were still flitting around the main deck, seemingly trying to find the words to say. "You've been with us for a while now. We've mostly been trying to look for ways to restore the Jedi order by chasing ghosts in space. You haven't really...said anything about it. Aren't you curious about finding other Nightsisters?"

Merrin looked down to her hands. She was still holding her talisman. "I think of that, a lot. They are with me, always, through what you call the Force." She placed the talisman on Cal's hands. He held it carefully, all of a sudden feeling the fragility of it. "But, yes. I would like to see any of my sisters again, in the flesh and blood." 

"You haven't made any requests about looking for them. You know we could help."

"Perhaps." She was quiet for a moment. "But my travels with you, and Cere, and Greez have opened my eyes. I have learned...many things. Seen so many sights. There are things out there beyond Dathomir and my magick. I want to learn what is out there, Cal. I want to know everything I can, even if it means travelling with lost Jedi, searching for remnants."

Cal looked at her for a moment and saw that her brown eyes were twinkling in merriment. It made his heart break a little. The innocence in her was not lost, only buried deep. 

He looked away and nodded quietly. "I understand."

They sat in silence, listening to the ship's hum as they travel in space through hyperspeed. 

"But I am lost," she said quietly.

Cal braved a look again to his friend. The twinkle in her eyes was gone. Now it was just hollow as the galaxy outside this ship was. "There is nowhere for me to go, Cal." She whispered. "I have grown strong, strong so I could avenge my coven when the time is right. That is all I have known, strength and power, and nothing more. Now I have lost what I have....and I am on the verge of losing myself."

Cal looked down to the talisman he held. Would giving it back to her make her feel less lost? It was one of the few things she brought with her when she joined them. It felt like he was holding her heart. 

"Do you think I've done the right thing, Merrin?" Cal whispered. 

She knew what he was talking about. "I cannot decide that for you. We can only look forward." 

"But I...I don't know what to do..." He gripped the talisman. "We have searched everywhere, kept fighting in a war that I don't even know we're going to win. Is there another purpose for me out there, if I really am going to be one of the last of the Jedi Order?"

He inched closer to her. "And what about you, Merrin? Are you not scared that you could be the last Nightsister?"

Merrin whipped her head and glared at him. "Then we look elsewhere," Merrin said. "The Jedi is not always the answer to all questions in this universe. Most importantly the answer to my kind cannot be found within me."

"No, you're right. We don't have all the answers. We shouldn't keep looking towards the Jedi. We...we need to--" It was hard to say it. "We need to..." Cal shook his head vigorously. "We need to go back to Bogano." 

Merrin sensed that wasn't what he was originally going to say. He continued, "I have to show you something. In the Vault. And I think I need to see it again, too." 

He placed the talisman back in Merrin's hands. "I...I think I need to think about this more. Thank you, Merrin." 

He got up and made his way to the back of the ship, where his bunk bed was. The wall they took down to speak with their hearts returned between them. 

###

Bogano was under plunder and control. It filled Cal with regret that he had led the Empire here, more than a year ago, just to retrieve a list of names that were no longer useful. As they enter the planet's atmosphere, Merrin had to cloak their entry, and Greez would have to land them somewhere discreet, farther away from the Vault. 

When the ship opened its bay doors, they were greeted with a sight of large Imperial ships and construction towers, mining the planet for its resources. From afar, the creature of Bogano, the mighty Binog, was in chains. It wailed in agony, calling for the remnants of its species from outer space. 

On Cal's shoulder, BD-1 whooped in sadness. Merrin did not make an effort to hide her anguish at seeing the creature. 

Cal and Merrin began to make their way to the Vault. It was a day's trek, as they have now landed further away than usual. They dodged Imperial encampments and construction sites, and in some areas, Merrin used her magick to cloak both of them to pass through stormtroopers' barracks. The Vault was heavily guarded, but as they snuck past through them and entered the central chamber, Cal was relieved to see that it remained untouched by the Empire. The Vault was, after all, only accessible to Force-sensitives. 

On their right, was a wall with an enormous black mirror. This mirror revealed itself when Cal had placed the Astrium into the chamber. It seemed to beckon to them. They waded through the water slowly, approaching it. Merrin looked around the Vault, glancing over the murals of the chamber. She paid particular attention to the large mural of the three Zeffo sages: Eilram, Miktrull, and Kujet. BD-1 jumped off Cal's shoulders and trailed behind them. 

"I had a vision here when I found the Holocron." He clutched his side, where an old wound rested, still healing. Still throbbing. "A dark vision from the Force."

Merrin studied the wall. He could not tell whether she could sense the pull of the mirror. But there was that twinkle again in her eyes, the twinkle of curiosity. 

Cal offered his hand to her. "May I?"

She looked down at his hand, and then back up to Cal. They looked at each other for a while. The wall between them seemed to be so evident. Cal took her hand gently and placed their hands together on the mirror. 

When Cal sensed an echo in the Force, he could not replay that memory back. But the impact of those memories would always stay with him. The Zeffo transmission was still so fresh in his mind, and being in this Vault only made it clearer for him, like he was experiencing it all over again. The towering Zeffo as he spoke with resignation about the fate of his race. How long ago was this? Where did the last remnants of the Zeffo go? 

Cordova was both right and wrong. He was right in that the Former Republic was too self-absorbed with itself, so prideful it led to the downfall of the Jedi Order. But he was wrong that the solution was to restore it again if they were not going to learn from the mistakes they have made. It took Cal more than a year to really accept it. The Jedi was following down the path of the Zeffo, and he wasn't going to let that happen.

Merrin let out a loud exhale, and Cal pulled himself back from his introspection. Her eyes were closed and green mist swirled around her eyelids. It subsided as she slid her hand from Cal and retracted it back to herself. 

"Did you...see anything?" Cal asked meekly.

She opened her eyes slowly. "I saw a faint image...of a giant. But only for a flicker of a second." 

Cal nodded lightly. "Yeah. That's a recording of a Zeffo." He didn't have to explain to her who or what they were. She already knew about this ancient species of Force-sensitives that Cordova was enamoured with.

Merrin's face scrunched up, with a shadow of inquisitiveness. "But...why did you bring me here?"

Cal began walking away, back to the centre of the room. BD-1 beeped and followed him. Cal turned around and crouched, meeting his friend at the same eye-level. "I think we should find the Zeffos to their last known location, maybe even their true resting place." He placed a hand on BD-1's head. The droid chirped affectionately. "I want to know if they've found what they're looking for, out there in the universe. Maybe we could even find the last of them."

Merrin crossed her arms. "They are gone, Cal. They have been gone for thousands of years." 

"We don't know that. They could still be out there, and they may have the answer to all of this." He gestured vaguely to his surroundings.

Merrin clenched her fist and marched towards him to the light. "Cal, we do not chase shadows of the past. What good is there to follow the dead again?" 

He whipped around to face her. This was frankly ironic coming from her when she often spoke to her fallen nightsisters, who were ghosts and shadows. "What is there for us here, Merrin? We have been going around in circles for far too long, already chasing shadows of what's left of the Jedi." 

"But what is there to achieve by flinging ourselves to the edge of the universe because of an echo by ancients?"

Cal tried to find the words in his head to truly express how he felt. He knew deep down why he wanted to go into this mission, but Merrin was a realist, and he would only be met by her brutal honesty. Frustrated and defeated, he said quietly, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." 

The emotional wall between them remained solid, unwavering. Cal looked away and hung his head down. "Maybe because I'm clinging to whatever hope left there is in here, and out there." 

"Hope." Merrin tasted that word. "Is hope the only thing you are clinging on to, Cal?"

"Yeah. Because I'm lost too." 

Silence fell between them. BD-1 beeped quietly, left Cal's side, and walked towards Merrin. His lens adjusted and whirled as the droid looked up to her, and then back to his best friend. 

Cal continued staring into the water, where BD-1 used to stand. "I believe the key in the survival of the Jedi Order is in the Zeffo and continuing Cordova's research. There could be parallels between what happened to them and what happened to us. I don't know if there are any clues of them in the Unknown Regions. I might have to leave the galaxy to find the last of them, out there."

Merrin noted his choice of words. "'I'?" 

Cal nodded curtly. "I might have to go on my own. Cere and I have been....struggling with what to do next. It's been tough to be one of the last surviving people of an ancient order. I think we both don't want to admit it, but it's time we diverge from our paths. It seems like this is the way of the Force." 

"You are going out there, alone?"

"Since people don't like my plan, looks like it."

Merrin shook her head. "I cannot let you go into the unknown, alone."

Cal looked at her. His expression shown hope, but he was also in denial of what she was about to say. "If you stay with Cere and Greez, you can help defeat the Empire, and bring justice to your sisters, to your clan. You could even go back to Dathomir and rebuild the Nightsisters, once everything is over."

"Yes, that is true. If I stay with the Mantis, I can exact vengeance when I am at the heart of the galaxy, with the strength of the Rebel Alliance. But we are still hiding and running, and I am still waiting for that right chance. You, on the other hand, will be alone if you follow through your plan. You will get yourself killed before you could even reach the other side of the galaxy." Her face was stern, but her eyes were soft. "I cannot allow that. Admit it, Cal Kestis. I am your most powerful ally, and you need me."

Cal couldn't help but smile. He stood up and faced her. "You're right. I need you. Merrin, I..."

He trailed off. He didn't need to say what he wanted to say. They knew what it was like being alone in the galaxy as children of the Force. Merrin witnessed the massacre of her clan and had to bury her loved ones alone. She was manipulated by a Dark Jedi, misleading and misguiding her from the truth, to take advantage of her powers. Cal lived in isolation, hiding from the Empire, severing his connection from the Force, working in a dangerous rigger's job when he was only thirteen years old. In the most unlikely series of events, they have found each other, first as enemies but now as friends. He didn't want to admit this to anyone, but he was afraid of being alone again. 

Merrin reached out to him with her hand. Behind her, the mural of the three sages loomed above her. "I do not agree with your mission, Cal. But I will join you on this journey." She flashed a knowing look. "To make sure there is someone to rescue you when you are in trouble."

He felt so relieved to hear that, Cal couldn't help but chuckle. "Right." It would already be difficult to part ways with Cere and Greez, and it would be much more so with Merrin. She was not only a powerful ally but grew to be his closest friend and confidante.

He shook her hand. With her at his side, the galaxy felt a little less dangerous.

###

As they exited the Vault, Cal looked back at the entrance and stared into the darkness. He sensed that this was going to be the last time he would be in the Vault and this planet. Cal, in all his life ever since the fall of the Jedi Order, never looked back because it was a key to his survival. He only looked forward, and only trusted in the Force. But for the first time, he did let himself look behind him. His journey started here, and he was never going to come back to this place again. 

The sky turned burning red, and streaks of dark clouds trailed the setting sun. At the distance, the Binog, perched on the faraway hills, wailed again, and the cry this time was more in agony. BD-1 mournfully chirped. Cal and Merrin looked at each other and knew what they had to do. 

The detour had cost them a few hours from the agreed time they were supposed to be back in the Mantis. Cal checked in on Cere to tell her that they were on their way back and everything was alright, just finishing some other business in the planet before they could depart. Before Cere could ask what that other business was, Cal cut off the communications and trudged forward. She was going to find out about it, one way or another. 

The empire had build guard towers around the Binog, where enormous chains linked themselves with the creature. As they approached the large creature, Merrin cloaked herself into the shadows and began sneaking around the perimeter to take out the stormtroopers guarding the area. Cal kept himself hidden until Merrin would give him the signal that it was safe for him to proceed. He looked at the Binog and wondered what the Empire wanted from the poor thing. There were large scars and wounds streaked across its body. Was the Empire experimenting on it? Keeping it and hurting it for fun? 

The Binog sensed his presence and began to growl. Cal raised a hand and slowed his walk. "It's okay, big guy. It's just me." He wondered if igniting his lightsaber would startle it. He tried using the Force to communicate with it. He did not speak its language, creatures rarely speak, but somewhere in the Force, he could reach out to it, tell it that they were at its side.

The beast calmed gradually. Cal placed his hand on its side and began stroking it, continuing to form a connection through the Force with the gentle giant. The scars of the beast looked far worse than Cal thought now that he could see them clearly. With the other hand, he took his lightsaber and walked slowly to one of the chains. As he was about to ignite his weapon, blast lasers sailed around him, hitting the creature in different parts of its body. The Binog bellowed in pain. The blaster shots came from the farthest tower, with two stormtroopers shooting down upon them. 

He hadn't been able to pay attention to his surroundings that he forgot to wait for Merrin's go signal. She materialized next to the shooting stormtrooper and pushed him down the tower with her magick, grunting with effort. She yelled at the bannister. "Cal, go!" She kicked the second one's blaster away and engaged in melee combat with him, dodging, punching, swerving away from the attacks. 

Cal ignited his lightsaber and cut down the first chain. The Binog kicked its surroundings in anger, toppling Imperial machinery and cargo against each other. It hurdled some of the heavy machinery towards the towers. Flames started to dance around the perimeter, aided by the leaked oil on the ground and fed by the blaster bolts that flew around the scene of the fight. It started spreading into the valley. 

More stormtroopers surrounded the area. Merrin had come down from the towers and began taking them out one by one, harnessing her dark magick into ichor projectiles. Cal charged through the fire, cutting the last of its chains as the monster thrashed around, fighting for its freedom. 

Now unchained, the Binog, a peaceful creature of the galaxy, lashed out against the burning towers. The blaze had kept spreading around them, creating a barrier around the perimeter and preventing more stormtroopers coming into the scene. The creature howled towards the sky and spread its wings. Cal and Merrin rushed away and watched the Binog fly into the skies. Stormtroopers blasted their weapons towards the freed giant, to no avail. In a minute, it disappeared into space. 

Cal and Merrin turned back towards the Empire. The fire had started eating away more than just the operation that kept the Binog chained. The oil was making its way towards the Barracks and other construction sites, and the flames followed along with it. Sirens blared around them, arousing more stormtroopers into action. 

"We're not going to take down the entire Imperial operation before getting out of here, are we?" Cal said, exasperated at the idea. He had his back against Merrin and watched as more stormtroopers surrounded them. What separated the two and their enemies were the walls of fire between them. 

"We will not," Merrin said. "But the Empire does not belong to this world. It belongs to Zeffo, and we shall keep it at that." 

Cal reopened his communications. "Hey, Cere," he said to his wrist communicator. "I think we're gonna need a pickup."

"I figured you'd say that," said his friend on the other side of the line. "We saw everything. We're already on the way."

"Thanks. Sorry about that." He closed the transmission. "We're pending pickup, Merrin." Cal ignited his second lightsaber and Merrin summoned dark energy around her, manifesting into her talisman. "We just need to hold our ground."  
  
The stormtroopers gathered some bravery in themselves and began jumping across the wall of fire. Both Cal and Merrin pushed the first stormtrooper back, the former using the Force and the latter using her ichor to send him back. When the rest began to jump together, the Force was not enough to keep them at bay. They began fighting them off, and it was a dangerous dance. Cal slashed through the enemy and Merrin fought them with her magick. They made sure to keep each other's back secure, to never break formation. They knew each other's steps and each other's moves. They spun around together and faced the Empire, the same Empire that had taken away their lives and the people they loved. After fighting together in this journey for so long, after so many close calls, sometimes almost losing each other, they were now in sync. They were equals. 

It was not too long until the Mantis was hovering above them. Cere opened the bay doors and had her blaster with her, shooting at the imperials and gesturing wildly at them. "Get in, now!" 

Merrin dematerialized and was up on the walkway and into the ship. Cal jumped next and managed to hang on. Cere pulled him up with one hand and kept blasting at the Imperial soldiers with her other hand. They both scrambled into the main hall. Cal and Merrin collapsed unto the floor, both covered in smoke and ash, breathless and coughing. 

"We're leaving the Empire a little present!" Greez shouted from the bridge of the ship. When the bay doors closed, the Mantis steered itself to face the entire Imperial operation. Lasers and blasters flew around them, some hitting the transperisteel. One imperial was about to level a rocket launcher to them. 

"Oh no, you won't!" Greez yelled. The Mantis expanded its weapons bay and launched laser cannons across the valley, creating a streak of havoc and destruction in a uniform fashion. More machinery exploded, towers collided, Imps were killed, and it had set some of the flora on fire. Murals and effigies were destroyed. Bogling creatures ran across the plains and the cliffs, finding safe shelter from the fire. Chaos reigned.

Cal stumbled into the bridge and watched Greez laid waste to the land. A lump formed in his throat. Bogano was in flames. The Empire would not return here anymore, but this planet was no longer the sacred site of the Zeffo. He realized that this was a pyrrhic victory. 

Cere joined them and her eyes glanced at the destruction on the planet, and then at Cal's solemn expression. His face was covered in soot. "Let's get out of here, Captain," Cere said. She placed a gentle hand on Cal's shoulder. 

"Gladly." Greez turned the Mantis towards the skies and began speeding away from the planet. 

  
###

  
The Stinger Mantis had just left hyperspace and they were now entering Nal Hutta space. With Greez's thousands of fake identification signals that they cycle through as they traversed across the galaxy, they were able to get landing permission for Nar Shaddaa. 

At the worktable at the back of the ship, Cal was finished making a copy of BD-1's memory banks. The chip contained all of Eno Cordova's logs--now decrypted--that were in his little friend. The droid took one last analysis on the chip before ejecting it from himself and Cal gingerly took it from him. BD-1 leapt and spun from the worktable, chirping excitedly. 

"Thanks, BD. I hope she likes it, too."

The ship shook slightly, indicating a landing on Smuggler's Moon. Cal looked at his bunk bed. On top of the bedsheet was a bag of his things, what little he had accumulated over his travels. He did one more do-over of his bed to see if he missed anything. He reached under the bed and felt the fabric of the robe he had gotten a long while ago. Cal's throat went dry for a second. He pulled it out slowly. It had gathered dust, and a few corners of it were chewed, possibly from the Bogling stowaway they picked up a long time ago. 

He felt an echo under the fabric, but he did not wish to indulge in its story yet. He draped and secured the cloak around him, and looked at himself at the mirror he propped across his bunker. Despite months of neglect under the bed, it still looked nice on him.

He came out of the ship and saw his friends casually talking at the landing platform, exchanging handshakes and hugs. Merrin looked up, and upon seeing the robe on Cal, her eyes twinkled for a second, but her face remained stoic and focused. 

He joined her side. Merrin was dressed in her heavyset of red robes, the dark cloth mask lowered down to her chin, what she usually did when speaking to people she considered close. She carried nothing with her. 

Cal said to Cere, "I'm sorry that we couldn't find common ground on this. I wish I could help you find the surviving Jedi masters in the galaxy, but..." He glanced at Merrin, before moving his gaze back to Cere. "The Force wants me to be somewhere."

Cere pressed her lips together into a thin line and nodded lightly. "You are a young man now, and you are set in your ways. It is time we forge our own paths. The Force will guide you where you need to be. I may not be a Jedi anymore, but I know about the lessons of letting go. I would need to let you go either way if you were my Padawan." 

Cal smile sadly and bowed lightly. "Thank you, Cere. I know you wish to let go, but BD-1 and I thought you'd like this." He presented the chip to his mentor. "It's all the records of Master Cordova that was stored in BD-1. If you're able to rebuild the Jedi Order, then maybe we can rebuild the Jedi archives again. Cordova's research deserves to be preserved." 

The droid on his shoulders beeped excitedly. 

She looked down at the chip, and her smile widened, less sad now. It was hard to tell what was going on in Cere's head, what she really felt in this moment in time. "Thank you. The Jedi will appreciate this." She took the chip and closed her fist around it. "May the Force be with you." She eyed her departing friends, who were now the former crewmembers of the Stinger Mantis. "All of you, always." 

Cere retreated into the ship. Greez lingered for a moment, looking at both Cal and Merrin, before running to hug them both, at their feet. They crouched down to reciprocate his hug. "Be good, you two." He pointed at BD-1. "And you take care of them and make sure they don't get into any trouble." 

He followed Cere up to the ship and closed the door behind him. From the landing pad, Cal and Merrin watched the Mantis start its engines, retract its landing gear, and turn towards the skies. Their robes whipped around them, and Cal tried to cover his eyes because of the sand flying around him as the result of the ship's takeoff manoeuvres. 

When the ship disappeared into space, they were greeted with the silence and the loneliness of the hangar. "We're alone now," Merrin whispered as if it was finally sinking into her. BD-1 beeped sadly. 

Cal patted his droid's head. "Yeah." He took a deep breath and reached into the Force for guidance. Where to go next? What happens now? Cal covered his face with a scarf and encouraged Merrin to do the same. "Let's go."

###

  
Nar Shaddaa was like many of the smuggler and bounty hunter dens they had been, but it spoke of a deeper, richer history. The buildings, now home to the shadiest businesses in the galaxy, sang of battles, wars, and destructions with each jagged rock, weathered stone, and deep engraving of ancient scripts. It had an architecture style that could not be seen in modern architecture anymore. Of course, this was now overshadowed by the skyscrapers similar to the ones Merrin had seen in the pictures of Coruscant. 

They were pushing through a busy and polluted marketplace. All the planet's citizens carried a weapon, whether it was a blaster or an old long blade. BD-1 voiced his anxiety regarding this world and the criminals that surrounded them through a serious of low beeps. Merrin did not seem to be shaken about the locals, but her discomfort laid more on the life force of the world. Under all the layers of grime and pollution, this world felt so...ancient. 

The Force had led them into a lively tavern. It was hot and crowded, it was impossible for both of them to shuffle around people without touching them. It had the smell of sweaty bodies, musk, and gunpowder in the air. Merrin tried to hide her disgust in her expression, but even it was too much for her. It was unlike any other smell she had experienced in the other taverns and dens in the galaxy.

Cal was zeroing into an individual at the far side of the room, who seemed to be playing a dice game with the other species around a round table. As he approached the table, all the other players turned their heads and watched him cautiously. 

"Hey kid," The dealer acknowledged his incoming presence. He was the person of interest to Cal. "Are you gonna come to sit or what? If not, get lost." 

Cal pulled down the scarf from his face. The dealer's sneer slowly melted away as he continued to register Cal in his mind. He then stood up from his seat, frozen in place. "Cal Kestis."

It was a whisper, but it seemed like everyone in the tavern heard it. Everyone kept doing what they were doing, but Cal sensed that the entire room's heart had skipped a beat. The table, however, was shuffling uncomfortably, since now the game had come to a halt. 

"Hey, Tabbers." Cal sat on the available seat opposite of his friend and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, hands clasped near his lips. "I'm cashing in a favour." 

###

  
That favour came in the form of a refurbished T-6 shuttle. It had been repainted and retrofitted to remove its Senate and Jedi Council markings and now served as a light smuggler's ship. Seeing another remnant of the Clone Wars made Cal's heart sink. He inhaled and exhaled deep breaths as he took in the ship with his eyes.   
  
"Have I repaid my debt to you, Kestis?" Tabbers said half-sardonically, half-jokingly, walking to his side. "Am I now free from the debts of the Jedi Council?" 

Cal shook out his unease, let out a light chuckle, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulders. "You're free to go now," he joked back. "Thank you, Tabbers." 

Tabbers rubbed his nose. "You need to be careful out there, you and your scary girlfriend there." He gestured towards Merrin, who was standing away from them but watching closely. BD-1 sat on her arms. "It's not safe for you. I've heard the stories. The Empire has been...cracking down on people like you, and they turn you into something...else." He eyed Cal up and down. "Honestly, I can't believe you're...you're one of them." 

"That's why I'm here, but I won't be around this part of the galaxy anymore. Which means you won't be seeing me around, and whatever trouble I might bring with me." 

"Good. I'm going low for a while, especially since now the whole town knows we know each other. This ain't a good place for both of us, so you better go now." His friend paused for a moment. "Goodbye, Cal. I'm sorry about Prauf." 

Cal pressed his lips together and nodded. He and Tabbers grabbed each other's forearms before Tabbers pulled his cloak up and began walking away briskly, silently. Merrin and BD-1 rejoined him, and they all looked at the ship in front of them. "Well, home sweet home, I guess," Cal said.

They boarded the T-6, slowly powered the lights, and inspected its rooms. They found where the escape pod was, and where they could store cargo (or hide if the enemy boarded). Once they had settled their bags into their self-assigned respective rooms, they sat in the cockpit and powered the engines. BD-1 positioned himself at the top of the controls of the ship, whirling and chirping. Cal looked past the transparisteel. They needed to leave the planet soon, or else they would soon be surrounded by Imperials, gang members, and bounty hunters after their heads.

"Alright. Where to?" Cal asked himself. "I guess we gotta make our way to the Unknown Regions and see what we can find there."

"And then what?" Merrin asked, removing her cloak and draping it over the arm of her pilot's chair. 

"I guess we trust in the Force to find the way." 

"Of course." She tried to hide her disdain around that belief. She didn't say anything else as they took off the planet and returned to outer space. 

Once they were out of the planet's atmosphere, Cal began mapping the route that would take them as far west of the galaxy as possible with the amount of fuel they had, before their next planetary stop to refuel and resupply. They could not deviate from the hyper lanes, or they would risk getting sucked into the black holes. They would also need to avoid the Imperial highways, so they could not cut through the inner rim and core worlds. They needed to decide whether they would risk landing in an Imperial-colonized world that would guarantee them supplies, or an undiscovered world where they would be safer but harder to find what they needed. It was a lot of head-scratching, a little bit of arguing with BD-1, but after a long while, they decided that their first destination was going to be Tatooine. 

Cal placed the coordinates of their jump into the ship's system. Once the hyperdrive generator was ready, he had his hand on the hyperdrive accelerator. "Are you ready?" He asked Merrin. He looked at his friend for affirmation and found himself catching his breath.

When they were still in the Mantis, Merrin never really sat anywhere near the cockpit, preferring to stay in the holomap room. Merrin did begin taking flight lessons, but Greez and Cere overviewed her training. Cal usually was out running errands, adventuring, or was at the back, meditating, trying to further heal and nurture his connection to the Force. 

He was not prepared at the sight of Merrin's expression as she stared across the galaxy. Her stoic demeanour had melted into a softness Cal had never seen in her. Strands of hair fell from her bun and embraced her face. What really captured him was her eyes. There were thousands of stars reflecting in her dark eyes. 

Cal tried to gather himself up from his reverie. She did not reply to his initial question so he began to speak what was in his mind since they Mantis left them on the landing pad in Nar Shaddaa. He spoke slowly. "I know we have had some disagreements in the past, and I know we won't see each other eye to eye with certain beliefs. But we've come so far together. You have been nothing but honest to me. And that's all I ask of you, no matter what happens between us."

He looked at her more intensely, letting his emotion in that moment spill into his words. "I don't want you to hide anything from me. If you have to say something, then say it to me and never hold back. I have only trusted in the Force ever since the Purge. But I want you to know, Merrin, that I trust you with my life."

She didn't return his gaze back but instead continued to look upon the stars, her eyelids lowering. "I have joined you on this journey to find a way to avenge my fallen sisters. To strike the Empire for what they have done to Dathomir." She looked down into her hands. "But it appears my destiny lies elsewhere. Now here I am, where I did not expect..." 

She finally looked at him. "With you. So wherever you go, Cal, know that we will go together." 

They stared deeply at each other for a while. Cal was lost in the stars in her eyes. He reached out to hold her hand and placed them on the hyperdrive accelerator, but he didn't let go. Merrin let Cal fill the gaps between her fingers with his own. She had touched his hands often, but only now did she realized that they were rough and scarred, years of scrapping, building, fighting, hurting, all of these memories and experiences were under his skin. Together, they pushed the accelerator forward, slowly entering hyperspeed, and they were gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept Tabber's species ambiguous in case he is brought up again the sequel game. Please leave a comment if you like the fic! I'm currently writing the second chapter and I don't know whether this will have two chapters or three. It depends on the pacing of the next part of the story. Anyways, I have a university take-home final exam to do right now, but after that, I'll be posting the next chapter soon!


	2. Dark Forces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Sorry for the delay, but thank you for your infinite patience as here is the next chapter of Star Ocean, with more than 10k words! I hope this meaty update will be rewarding for you all and tide you over until the last chapter of the story (which shouldn't be as big as the first and second chapters as it just wraps up Star Ocean's story, however I cannot fully promise that). This chapter is also brought to you by William Inertia, who I've commissioned to do a Merrical piece for this fanfic to visualize their new look. Despite the minor error details which I just caught now that I'm posting the chapter lol, they did amazing work for this fanfic! 
> 
> Many special thanks to the people who have commented and have checked in with me the past few months You are all wonderful and I hope this second chapter does not disappoint. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts! If you'd like to get in touch with me beyond AO3 to talk about Merrical, follow my twitter @mechanicalily (unfortunately I'm no longer in tumblr) ! Thank you!

**PART TWO: DARK FORCES**

Cal gritted his teeth. He was back here again in the darkness of his mind. The looming effigy of the Zeffo towered over him, looking down at him as his judge, jury, and his executioner. Large chains hung from above the dark cavern, the chimes and the symbols of the Life Wind dangling at the end of these hanging ornaments. Streaks of blue light snaked across the ground, moving away from him. He stood at the center of the cavern. Fog and mist clouded the arena. The light of the moon from the cave's opening was the only source of illumination here. His visions unrelated to his past were always like a dreamlike haze, but the aura was ominous and evil.

He struggled up to his feet, untangling his legs from his meditative position. His body was weak from trying to resist against the Dark side invading his meditation, his one way of trying to strengthen his connection to the Force. 

Emerging from the shadow of the arena, from the breast of the Zeffo judge, was a mirror image of Cal Kestis. He wore dark Inquisitor armour, his bright golden eyes gleaming through the shadows with hate. His complexion was paler, sickly, and the skin around his eyes was cracking and hollow. He sported a half-smile, half-sneer, bringing deep prominence to the old blaster scar on the side of his face. 

Instinctively, Cal ignited his lightsaber to face the Inquisitor, who wielded a single-blade red lightsaber, unlike the traditional spinning double blades as the other Inquisitors he had encountered in the past. But it was not necessary to know whether the Cal in front of him was a true Inquisitor or not. What mattered the most was that he existed in his mind's eye and that he had been given a personification. 

They locked themselves in battle, lightsabers clashing, spinning, and parrying. Cal had no way to really escape, and he had gone through this in his mind more than a hundred times. He needed to resist this entity of darkness that plagued his sleeping consciousness. This was not just the dark side of the Force. No, it was more than that. It was something so...wrong and unnatural.

His arms were suddenly growing tired and weak. The inquisitor had begun chipping through Cal's unprotected edges with his red lightsaber--his shoulders, his knees, the tips of his red hair. Each lightsaber hit was making him dizzier, the smell of burning flesh permeating in the air. 

The Inquisitor pushed Cal back with the Force, and Cal did everything in his power to keep his balance strong and steady. The Inquisitor's outstretched hand then began curling into a claw, and Cal sensed a blanket of darkness wash over him as something else was gripping his weapon. The kyber crystals of his lightsaber flew out from the hilts and into the enemy's hand. It took Cal a second to realize what was going to happen. He threw his lightsaber away from him, shielded his face with his arms and the ionic blast of his broken weapon propelled him across the cavern. He landed on his back with a hard thud. His spine cracked. His arms burned and seared. 

Now without a weapon, the Inquisitor towered over him. Behind him, the Zeffo effigy's eyes glinted. Cal's lightsaber crystals danced around his palm for a moment before crushing it with his hand. The dust blew away gently, floating up into the hole up in the sky. 

"Pathetic," the Inquisitor taunted. The Inquisitor turned his lightsaber around and drove it into Cal's chest. Cal screamed and pulled himself out of his visions and into the real world. He was back in his room in the _Coven Defiance_ , the name Merrin gave of the T-6 Shuttle they had acquired from Tabbers a year ago. There was nothing here except for his bunk bed on the far side, and the Jedi meditation circle he drew in the middle of the room, where he sat cross-legged. He was surrounded by the Zeffo artefacts they have found in their adventures across the galaxy over the years, small little spheres and chunks of a broken stone tablet that depicted murals or inscriptions. 

BD-1 had been standing diligently beside him, beeping with concern. He nudged his head against Cal's arm, which prompted the young Jedi to pick his droid up into his arms. "I'm sorry. BD." Cal's lips were bleeding from biting too hard, his eyes wide and wild from escaping his meditation. The heels of his palms were also bleeding from clenching his fists too tightly. His nails had dug deep into his skin. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm okay now."

There was no longer any safe haven in his mind. Wherever he tried to retreat, _he_ would follow. Even in his dreams, he was haunted, and his nights became restless and shallow. His two-year-old wound on his side had been throbbing uncomfortably. When pressed against his clothes, it felt like it was wet and bleeding again. 

Cal could not understand. His connection to the Force has been bridged and healed. Why would he be plagued with these visions of the Dark side? What were the main influences? Was it caused by the wound that he got from the Shadow years ago? The Zeffo artefacts?

Merrin?

He shook his head. He had been travelling with her for a long while now, and her magick--even if it drew from the Dark Side of the Force--had not inflicted harm or was not used without malice. If she did, one could argue that Cal was also straying away from the Jedi path of peace, with the way he was trying to defend himself from the Empire and other threats in the galaxy. Still, he could not rule out the possibility that his closest friend may play an influence on it, even though the idea of it stressed him out.

He could not sever his ties with the Force again. Not anymore. Not when he had finally accepted his past and was healing from the trauma of the Purge. Not when he was a Jedi Knight, with a duty to restore the Jedi Order and the Republic from the evils of the Empire. 

The door to his room slid open, and Merrin stood there, placing a hand on the edge of the doorframe. She looked relaxed, but not because she was relaxed about the situation, she was just relaxed around Cal. She recently cut her hair and now sported a bob cut, with the tips of her hair hovering above her shoulders. She wore a dark outfit made of black and red silk, with a small black cape hanging at her side. 

"I sensed your unease from the other side of the ship," she said. "Again?"

"Again," Cal confirmed, wiping his sweating face with his bleeding hand. "And again, and again, and again." 

Merrin studied him for a moment, then waved her hand gently. "Have tea with me."

##

At the small kitchenette of their ship, Merrin had prepared a pot of tea and placed a cup in front of Cal. Cal was still shaking, but the smell of the tea was soothing his nerves already. BD-1 hopped onto the table, but folded his legs and sat there quietly. It was a fairly small space, and just right across the table was the cockpit of their ship, charging through hyperspace. 

She noticed Cal's bleeding hands and silently grabbed the medical kit in one of the kitchenette's cabinets. When she came back, Cal opened his hands, and Merrin lightly placed bacta-treated patches on the self-inflicted wounds of his palms. Her gentle fingers brushed across his hand, only lightly touching the surface of the band aid, the one thing that was keeping from feeling each other's skin. 

Cal quietly took in his friend's presence. They had grown closer in the past year, far closer than Cal could ever imagine given the difference between them, but now he was more worried. He could not deny that he was becoming attached to Merrin. Whether this was a romantic attachment or a platonic one, he was afraid either way. Could this be the weakness that burst through his mind's eye? Was that why Jedi teachings forbade attachments, romantic or familial, because of the clouding judgements that would come to him as part of his trials? If the Dark side knew what made him so vulnerable, would they turn that weakness against him?

The tea was warming Cal's insides. His terrible vision was slowly fading to the back of his mind, and he felt fully in the present now. 

"Better?" Merrin inquired as she finished up with his hands. 

Cal nodded. "Yeah. For now." He downed the last bits of the tea. Merrin poured him another cup. She seemed to be waiting for him to talk to her, to tell him what the content of his vision was this time. That seemed to be their normal with both of them. They had communicated and built expectations surrounding their companionship, and they almost always told each other anything and everything that came into their mind.

Almost.

He wasn't sure whether he wanted to tell her about this particular struggle with the Dark side today. He seemed to be failing, and the news could alarm her.

"Do you think I am not good, Cal?"

Cal looked up from his cup and back to his friend. Her head was bowed down, and her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Why would you think that?"

"The Dark side plagues you, I can see that in your eyes. But it is the Dark side that gives me strength." She looked at her hand and clenched her fist. "Hate, revenge, violence, pain...they are all in my blood, my power." 

A memory of the sarcophagus of the Sage Kujet flashed in Cal's mind. The darkness that lurked in his tomb, and Kujet's followers climbing the walls of his palace, encased alive, screaming for eternity. 

"I have stuck with Jedi interpretations of the Force. You know this, Merrin. It's hard for me to find that the Dark side could be used for good intentions. We're on this journey to learn things past beyond the Jedi, to move past that thinking." He recalled the artefacts in his room. "And to learn from it all." 

"But you are still a Jedi Knight." 

Cal nodded. "I am a Jedi Knight. And I still will be, even on the day I will be gone and be one with the Force." 

They were both quiet for a long time. This was not a comfortable silence, nor was it awkward. The tension between them was evident, but it was vague. Was there a growing distrust? They looked at each other, and Cal could not help but look longingly at Merrin. 

"You need healing, Cal," Merrin said. "And that is why we must go to this place." 

"If we can find anything there," Cal grumbled.

The ship's console beeped, announcing their arrival in their destination system. Merrin went to the bridge, sat down, put on her headset, and began disengaging from hyperspace. Cal took his cup of tea and stood behind her. He watched as the million light streaks around them disappeared and once again they were back in the void of space, surrounded by stars. A cold desert moon awaited them below. Jedha. 

  
##

The desert was deceiving from outer space, but the cold was truly biting. As they entered the atmosphere, they were met with a violent sandstorm, with flecks of ice and hail swirling around their viewpoint. The visibility was awful. Temperature readings outside the ship were going off-the-charts.

Merrin managed to land behind a rocky plateau. From an outdated map of the planet that they had on the console, just up ahead should be the holy city of the moon, Jedha City, where believers of the Force, whether they were Force-sensitive or not, would pay privilege there. The Force was strong enough on this moon that Cal felt like he could _touch it_. 

They powered down the ship and stared blankly at the transparisteel, both remaining in their pilot seats. They couldn't seem to take their eyes off the storm. The weight of a year's adventure was finally beginning to sink on their shoulders. It certainly was for Cal. It has now been seven years since the Purge and the fall of the Jedi Order. He felt much older than twenty years old. He had seen so much, done things he wasn't proud of, but there was still much to learn and much to see. 

Merrin reached out and held Cal's hand. Cal's heart skipped a beat. It always did, whenever they made gestures like this. He wanted this, more than he wanted to admit. He knew what this was, he was not a child anymore to wonder, and he could not pretend that he had feelings for her. The reality of it all was just finally dawning on him, and so was the fear of his attachment towards her. 

He was still a Jedi Knight, a believer in the Force. And with that, he must adhere to the code, even if it were just a little bit longer. He knew of the inevitability of his fall from the Jedi path.

"Merrin," he began. He held her hand tightly. "I think, from this point on, we may have to lay some boundaries between the two of us." 

"What do you mean?"

"The Jedi do not allow attachments, and you know this. And I'm afraid I'm becoming too close to you."

She looked mildly alarmed. "I can not be close to you?"

"No, no, it's not that." He took a deep breath. He kept his gaze to the cold world outside. "I appreciate your friendship. You mean more to me than you'll ever know, and I mean that." He finally looked at her. "But we are not supposed to not have feelings. So nothing can happen between us."

Her face was blank, but her stun silence held. "I see."

"I'm sorry."

None of them moved from their seats. The ship shuddered from the strong wind outside, and little chunks of ice and snow bounced from the metal and glass. Telling Merrin what needed to be said didn't make Cal any less better. He was beside her, but she felt light years away.

Gently, Cal slipped his hand away from hers and stood up from his seat, turning his back towards Merrin. "I'm going to meditate again, to see what we can find on this planet."

He caught a glimpse of Merrin's expression, hurt and vulnerable before it hardened. "I will go out then to see what we can find once the storm subsides." 

Cal turned around. "Merrin, it's too dangerous out there. Maybe stay with me and meditate."

She didn't reply. She walked past him and towards the metal locker near the exit of the ship. Cal watched her get dressed in a rugged thick winter coat and grabbed the macrobinoculars from the locker. She opened the door outside and dove into the storm. BD-1 wandered towards Cal and looked on curiously.

"Go with her, please," he whispered to the droid. He chirped in agreement and raced outside before the door closed. Cal remained where he was, standing. The ghost of her touch lingered in his hand. 

  
##

  
Merrin didn't wander far from the ship. Cal's droid followed closely in her footsteps, beeping for her to wait up. Sometimes a small piece of hail would hit him, and he would also stumble upon a stone or stagger when a stronger gust of wind would blast around them.  
  
She felt angry, but she did not want BD-1 to suffer through this storm. She waited until he caught up with her and she gestured to jump into their arms. He did so and she wrapped her arms around the droid. He snuggled against her as if he could feel her warmth. There was not enough protection for both of them from the hail and the heavy ice, but it was better than nothing. 

She really did come out here to try to see if the Holy City was just up ahead of them. But being spurned by Cal permeated a deep sadness in her heart, and she couldn't bear to be anywhere near him. The distance was growing between them, after all this time of being each other's confidant, after all the time they were alone together in this universe.

Merrin found herself on the edge of a cliff. She crouched down and brought the macrobinoculars to her eyes. BD-1 climbed up to her shoulders and, in his own way, tried to also scan the area with the technology equipped in his little body. Her winter coat whipped around her, and snow was building up between the space of her hair strands.

_Sister._

A cold shiver went down her spine. She pulled away from her macrobinoculars and looked around. The echo lingered in the air, but the source of the voice could not be found, not in this material world. Was this the call of her fallen sisters? Mother Talzin?

_My sister._

No, this voice was different. 

She shook her head. Maybe it was just her chronic loneliness, finally getting into her. She sometimes longed for Dathomir, where a sense of familiarity and comfort did make her feel at home, despite the heavy darkness that shrouded the planet. The Dark side was not always a pleasant experience. She had been plagued with nightmares, attacked by creatures from the depths of the underworld. But all of these experiences made her who she was now, a strong, hardened woman in a cold and unforgiving galaxy.

But Cal introduced her to a world that her clan would never experience, a world only very briefly she and her beautiful Ilyana were in before the Empire took her away from Merrin. It was a world where she could be soft and vulnerable. It made her wonder if she really wanted to go back to Dathomir.

And that was what hurt her, when Cal rebuffed her, even if it was as polite and gentle as possible. She had become so fragile, one small rejection was all it took and her world shattered.

This wasn't right. 

_I can give you what you want._

"Who are you?" She called out, preparing herself for an offense. BD-1 jumped in alarm, looking around frantically. The echo of the voice still lingered. She reached into the Force and tried to trace the origin of the call. She felt the presence of a powerful Force entity that didn't originate on this planet. It seems to have...followed them here. 

_I've been watching you for quite a while. You do not have to be alone._

"Show yourself!" Merrin yelled into the unknown. "Only cowards hide themselves in the shadows of the Force. "

_You are right, my sister. Come find me in the city, and we shall unite._

With just that, the voice was gone with the wind.

## 

  
Clear blue skies were a welcome sight in the next rotation. Cal and Merrin began gearing up for their own pilgrimage to the Holy City. For this occasion, Gone were her silk dark robes and instead, she had adopted one of Cal's ponchos. She covered herself with a headscarf and a mask to hide her facial tattoos and her pale skin. She wore a gold necklace that she has kept every since she was child. She sweltered in all the clothing that weighed on her.

Cal donned more earthly tones. Gone was his rigger's uniform from the scrapper's guild two years ago, but have instead adopted weather-appropriate attire: a blue-grey shirt showing toned muscles and his tattoo, with his well-loved guild pants and boots, twice mended from wear. Buckles, belts and a dark brown traveler's cloak completed his look, his lightsaber strapped and concealed at his side.

They exited the ship and climbed the plateau. There, on top of the highland, they had a clear view of Jedha City, nestled inside a moon's crater. They beheld the city with their sight, both with their own eyes and the macrobinoculars they held in their hands. So far, there were no signs of the Empire; no TIE fighters, no Imperial cargo, no looming Star Destroyer on the horizon. 

"Someone is waiting for me here," Cal whispered, lowering his macrobinoculars. "He's been waiting for me for...years."

Merrin looked at him. "How do you know that?"

"I..." It was not a difficult question to answer, because the answer was the Force. But that was not exactly a satisfying answer. "When I was meditating to find out if there was something for us here, I heard a call from the Force. I know we came here to find an answer to what's happening to me. But I think the Force brought us here for a purpose."

She simply nodded. She did not tell him that she had also heard a voice from the last rotation. It could not be the same individual Cal had mentioned. Once they entered the city, she would have to investigate this matter on her own. 

  
##

  
Space was a stranger in Jedha. When they arrived in the city midday, each step of the way, Cal and Merrin found themselves bumping against disgruntled locals. BD-1, riding Cal's shoulder, scanned objects into his database and spoke occasionally in binary about small questions and his own observations. 

Cal found himself stopping and staring up at the Kyber Temple. The large obelisk-like tower was the highest building in the city. At the steps of the Holy Temple, the Guardians of the Whills stood, as some pilgrims slowly walked up to the steps of the building and inside, to pay their respects. Cal had heard about these order of Force believers, the Church of the Force. These were the populations who were non-force sensitive but closely followed the teachings and beliefs of the Jedi Order. He didn't know what to make of these Force believers, but this sanctuary is a relatively stable place for them to reside and continue their practices, even after the Empire was established and the Jedi Order gone. 

He sensed the Kyber crystals in there, many of them singing to him. Not a lot as was his time in Ilum, but enough that if he had lost his sabers again, he would know where to go. He would just have to prepare a good reason to go to the Temple and extract a piece of the kyber crystal that wouldn't reveal that he was a Jedi. 

But that was not where the Force was directing him. The people waiting for him were not in the Temple, nor in the teeming marketplace they were about to go into. They needed to go further, away from this place, and into the darkness of the moon. They needed to head to the slums, to the underbelly of this world. 

As they went further, the crowd was getting thicker and thicker, and then in a moment, Cal and Merrin were separated by the sea of people between them. Cal roughed his way back to Merrin, who seemed to be caught in the tide of pilgrims heading in the direction of the Temple. When she was at arm's length, he reached out and grabbed her hand. He pulled her towards him almost into an embrace before breaking away. His hands, however, continued to grip hers. He wanted to indulge in this, even for a moment. 

Merrin's eyes gleamed. The way she looked at him melted Cal, like a ray of sunshine after a dark storm. Still, the unease and hurt caused by the rejection from the previous day's event stayed. That part was cold, and he wondered if he would ever bring warmth back into her heart. If only the wall would come down, the wall that Cal put up because he was afraid. 

They fought their way out of the market and now traversed the back alleys of Jedha. These houses hugged the crater, far from the bustling center of the city. The poor and the downtrodden held up cups to ask for spare coins. Cal and Merrin had nothing to offer them, except gentle apologies. These people were the ghosts of the city, they were not seen, they did not exist, and they didn't matter. 

As they turned towards a corner, a hole awaited them at the end of the alley. Cal looked down and heard the sounds of people yelling, of machines and droids whirling, of the bustle and hustle of a hidden city below another city. This was like Level 1313 in Coruscant, as Cal would compare internally, except the portal was smaller, just a stairwell to the underground. They climbed down slowly, into the darkness. BD-1 provided a small light, and Merrin summoned a small green flame on the top of her palm. Cal's lightsaber could provide a brighter light, but he didn't indulge in that instinct, not when they were in the middle of civilization. The Empire may not be here yet, but there could be loyalists and spies in their midst.   
  
At last, they made it to the bottom. The architecture of the buildings--smooth, rounded sand walls--reminded Cal of the sun-washed buildings of Tatooine. It was tight and space was sparse between these structures, suggesting a high level of the population living here. Some of the buildings were tall enough that they held up the ceiling of the underground complex. The sprawling city was lit with a mix of open flames and glowing lamps. Dust never seemed to settle around them, as people came and went on roads that were older than the moon, as old as the Jedi Religion itself. This was the old Jedha, the original Holy Jedha, before the city sank, and local populace bricked the skies away when it wanted to start over.

Cal seemed to be pulled by his instincts into a small downtrodden home somewhere in the corner. Its sandy walls were cracked, some parts of the roof even caved in. Cal knocked on the wooden door before he realized that it was unlocked and let himself in.

It would have been a completely dark room if not for the light from outside seeping through the pitch black of the abode. There was not much in this place. It was sparsely furnished, with a mattress in one corner of the room, and a small low table on the other corner. It was more of a room than a house.

Merrin summoned her green flames again for illumination, and this time Cal took his lightsaber and ignited it. Under the bright light of his weapon, a muscled dark-skinned man with unkempt long, black hair was found meditating in the middle of the room. He was dressed in rags. What was particularly striking about his image was the long yellow streak of a tattoo across his face. 

His eyes were piercing when they opened, and the gaze was harsh. Needles seemed to pin Cal's skin as he gulped. A shroud of darkness seems to float around this man. "Are you the one?" His voice was dusty as if it had been used for many, many years.

"The Force wants me to meet you," Cal said, lowering his lightsaber but not unsheathing it.  
  
The man let out a loud exhale. "And I've been waiting for you. You're younger than I suspected."

"I...I was young when the Purge happened." Cal's voice was croaking. "I lost my master, and I had been hiding on the run from the Empire. Until now."

"Until now." The man nodded, and his eyes softened when it fell on the hooded Merrin. "A nightsister," he breathed.

Instinctively, Cal raised his arm protectively in front of his friend. The man held up a reassuring hand. "You don't have to be alarmed, this just takes me back to many years ago. I used to have a...friend, who is also a nightsister." He paused. "Was a nightsister. She had long passed away, even before the Purge. She was a beautiful, fearless woman. One of a kind." 

Cal and Merrin stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do as this man seemed to become so lost in his own world. The man broke away from his reverie and offered his hand towards Merrin. " Forgive me. I was lost in thought. But I must say, that is a lovely necklace you have there. May I see it?"

Merrin clutched her necklace. She gave one intense look to Cal, a wordless way of asking him if this was the right action. Cal merely pressed his lips together and nodded slightly. _Please trust me_ , he seemed to mean. 

She slowly walked to the meditating man and reluctantly unclasped her necklace from herself and handed it to him. 

He clutched it gently, understanding the physical and emotional fragility of this item, and closed his eyes. "It's very beautiful." He whispered. "It was made by someone you loved..." He sighed. "Someone you lost so long ago." 

Merrin's expression looked pained and snatched it back from him. She had left light scratches from her nails against his open palm. "How _dare_ you--"

Cal whipped his head from Merrin to the mysterious man. He realized what he had done. "You have--"

"Psychometry."

"You're like me."

The sad smile was a little brighter, and Cal wondered if that smile had seen better days. "We're definitely a rare breed, maybe even a little dangerous because we can see secrets, we can see pasts." 

"Cal," Merrin hissed angrily. "I do not trust this man, how could he--"

"I'm sorry, I should not have pried into memory so painful and deep." His remorse was genuine. "But you are from Mother Talzin's clan. You are the true last survivor. Assajj did not tell you. She thought she was the last one."

Merrin's eyes were welling up in the darkness. Cal wanted to reach out and touch her, to comfort her, if it weren't for the man being there to see their every move. Of course, she would feel this way, she did not ask to be laid out bare like this in front of a stranger. He understood how she was feeling, being forced to come out like this. 

"You have not told me your name yet," the man quietly said.

Cal hesitated. "Well..."

"I understand. You're coming from a place of caution, especially after what I've done to your friend." He gestured to the space in front of him. "I am Vos. Come take a seat with me, padawan." 

There was still a lingering, untrusting silence in the air. Merrin reached out and touched Cal's shoulder. "Cal, I do not trust him," she hissed. 

"I know," he whispered. It wouldn't matter. They both knew it was important for him to be there and speak to Vos. He could hold the key to the illness in Cal's heart. 

"I am not at ease around him. I will have to leave. I will wait for you on the ship."

"Okay." Cal took her hand from his shoulder and held it tightly. He was so close to her at that moment, he saw the edges of her eyes brimming with tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks, She was still clutching her necklace beside her hip, the necklace that had made her so vulnerable. 

They let go of each other. Cal withdrew his lightsaber and the room plunged into darkness. He sat cross-legged on the floor gingerly, facing Vos. BD-1 situated himself on Cal's lap. Merrin remained standing, hiding in the darker shadows of the room, slowly moving back to the door. When she opened the door, light temporarily entered into the room, and for a few seconds, Cal was able to get a better picture of Vos: a sad tired man weighed down with a burden of a thousand stars. 

##

  
Merrin exited the house. She wasn't going to stick around for the discussion between the two Jedi. She wasn't going to wait around until they were done either. 

It was true that she was heading back to the ship, but not before making a stop somewhere. She didn't need to go far, she sensed another being in the Force, revealing itself temporarily only to her. This other Force-user was a powerful one, and it sent a tingle of fear and anxiety down Merrin's back. This was the voice she heard, and it beckoned for her to follow.

Up again in the newer streets of Jedha city, she found herself in a bustling marketplace where Cal and Merrin almost got lost. She ducked into one of the buildings that seemed so unassuming. The bar was empty when she went inside. The bartender, wiping down the counters, saw her enter and scan the room. Despite her hooded figure that would render her unrecognisable, he seemed to know who she was. He gestured to the back room without a word and continued cleaning down the tables. Merrin wondered if this Force-user owned this bar or bought the whole place for themselves. She moved around the tables and into the dark hallways leading to the door at the end of the hall. A waft of burning incense permeated the air (it smelled like Veshok wood). Around ten steps later, the door slid open automatically, and Merrin entered without batting an eyelash. 

Red drapes covered the walls of the room, from the ceiling to the floor. In the middle, a table was clothed over with the same colour. On top of it was a shard with a faint glow. Was it a talisman? No, it was a piece of something powerful, something more...sinister. The effect was overwhelming and dizzying. Behind the table was a Dathomirian woman. She was beautiful and entrancing. She sat in travel-friendly clothes that hugged her form neatly but gave her enough flexibility to maneuver freely in combat, an outfit fit for bounty-hunting. Her long white braided hair draped down her shoulders. Dathomirian tattoos sprawled on her face, slowly fading. Her clear, golden eyes glinted with insanity. 

"I'm so happy you answered my call, sister," she said, holding a cup of drink in her left hand, and then taking a sip. "Ever since you came to my domain, I've been following you closely, watching you with the eyes of my secret network. You are strong in the Force knowing I am here. I am Jerserra. Please come and take a seat."

Merrin stared blankly at her. Part of her couldn't believe her eyes, that after travelling for so long and meeting hundreds of species across the galaxy, meeting another Nightsister again shocked her more than she could imagine.

"Guarded, I see. I do not blame you, but do not fear me. I do not come across many Dathomirians, much less a Nightsister. But please, enough about me. Tell me about yourself."

Merrin did not say anything, and let silence hang in the room.

Jerserra let out an exasperated sigh. "Very well. If you do not trust me, then I can indulge you with information about myself." She took another sip. The shard on the table seemed to be singing with power. "I am from the Nardithi clan. You may have heard of us, as we are a small, but mighty group. When I was a teenager, someone came to Dathomir and took me in to be their apprentice and trained me. But I've lost my master and now I'm travelling alone. However, I've managed to make a name for myself as an operative and a spy network." She gestured to the room. "This little bar here is one of the many places I've owned the galaxy." Her wide eyes crinkled. "You could say I've become a businesswoman myself. Now, what do you say? Who are you?" 

Merrin was still guarded. She remembered Talon Malicos coming to her planet when she was a young girl. He deceived her with lies so he could learn the secrets of her clan's magick. After that, she was not so willing to trust someone so easily.

But it really had been so long since she had met someone who was just like her. She longed for an emotional connection, as the loneliness of her travels was getting to her.

An image of Cal came to her mind. In that image, he was looking at her, but with a dissatisfied frown he turned and walked away from her.

"I am the last daughter of Mother Talzin." Merrin started, still hesitating with her words. "The last of her clan."

Merrin began telling her story, albeit in shorter, curter details than if she were to recount it all again to a dearer friend. Her story, from the massacre of her clan to the crash landing of Talon Malicos, to meeting Cal Kestis, and then her travels around the galaxy, sometimes being on the run from the Empire. She left out the details of Cal being a Jedi and other more sensitive information about their quest to find the Zeffo. She did, however, mention Ilyana. She was not exactly willing to tell anyone the most painful part of her past, but Jerserra should understand what it would be like losing someone, especially someone who they would consider most equal.

The nightsister was still sipping and looking into her cup, more so than she could see Merrin. "Are you travelling alone now?"

"No. I am with a companion."

"A fellow traveler? A lover?"

"No. I am with my friend, whom I've mentioned I met on Dathomir."

"A simple friend." The Dathomirian woman seemed to taste the word first. "Nothing more, nothing less. How touching."

She finally finished her drink and threw the glass across the room. The glass shattered, pieces of it splintering across the floor. Merrin didn't flinch.

"Forgive my recklessness." Jerserra placed a hand on her face. "The worries of the day are weighing down on me." She leaned forward. "I must say, you are a sight for sore eyes. You are a powerful Nightsister, I can sense that in you. Your story is resounding, and your hatred and pain have fueled your growth and your training. You can be as strong as your Mother Talzin, you just need that potential to be unlocked. You do not have to keep going alone." 

Jerserra stood up from her seat. "You can find a purpose with me. Together we can build our own clan, and with my growing Empire, we can rule the galaxy in the shadows. We can even go back to Dathomir, rebuild the Nightsisters again, and continue our ways and tradition." 

"You misunderstood me. I am not alone. I am with a friend."

"What kind of friend is he to make you feel so lonely? He is not of our clan. What does he know about our ways?"

Merrin flinched. Cal in the past had proposed for them to go back to Dathomir, to do more research on the Zeffo there, especially the Sage Kujet and the Decline of the ancient species. Merrin did not want to look upon the life she had turned her back on, so she had always turned down any opportunities for them to go back to her homeworld. She also remembers Malicos's slow, mad descent to the Dark side with his exposure to Dathomir. She didn't want Cal to go through that. 

"He has shown me more about the galaxy than I could ever behold," Merrin said. "I cannot be confined with the darkness of Dathomir anymore, and I cannot go back home knowing that there is an vast unknown out there, and unknown I want to explore and to be known to me."

"But he is still ignorant of our powers. We thrive on the Darkness, and he is afraid of it."

"He is poisoned by it. He needs healing from it."

"Because he is weak! He cannot harness that power which we wield so easily, and I will prove it to you." The darkness around Jerserra seemed to seep out of her body. Malice, anger, vengeance embodied her. Her words dripped with hate.

Merrin took an instinctive step back and brandished her magick at the palm of her hand. "You are not a friend to me. I will not join you."

Jerserra sneered. "Are you ready to turn against your fellow sister? Is that boy the very thing that makes you hesitate to come back to the Nightsisters? To your own people? Is he really just a friend and a companion to you?" She took a menacing step forward. "That boy is acting on his own interests. I know your interests are different as well. You want to go back to the sisterhood. You want a family. I can give you that, and we can begin again. Think about your Ilyana. She had been cut down by outsiders. You simply cannot forget about that."

"Enough!" Merrin's ball of magick was getting brighter. Angry eyes glowed green. "You cannot make assumptions of what I want. They may all be gone, but I will never betray my clan." 

"It appears so." Jerserra lunged forward and at a blinding speed of movement, they clashed, Jerserra summoning a weapon she withdrew from her clothes against Merrin's magick shield. Merrin could not see the weapon she brandished, but only the colour red. The green and red made a blinding yellow light shine all around them. The yellow energy of the clash finally exploded, making them recoil across the room. Jerserra hit the wall at the end of the room, and Merrin was knocked back against the door, which had slid open automatically.

They got up slowly, knees shaking, their eyes locked against each other across the room. Merrin turned her back and withdrew through the door, bolting across the bar and into the marketplace and into the sunlight of Jedha. Jerserra didn't chase her, simply retracted her weapon and sat back down in her chair. She placed two fingers against her left temple and sighed deeply. "My sister, you are making a mistake. You need me. I need you. The galaxy is vast and lonely, and I do not want to be alone anymore."

  
##

Cal leaned forward to Vos. "I'm being plagued by visions of the Dark side. I think you can help me." 

Vos pulled a pipe from his pocket and began smoking it. "My padawan, we were born with a gift. But it is also a hidden curse. So tell me, what plagues you, exactly?"

Cal launched into his story, from the beginning of the Purge, up to where he was, a traveling researcher of the Zeffo. He told him of his Force disabilities, on how he could not fully meditate by his own will and would have to create a meditation circle as a bridge to the Force. He had told him the contents of his vision, of a Cal Kestis that had taken a plunge in the Dark side, of the Zeffo judge overlooking him as he would be locked into battle with the Dark side. 

Vos took a few puffs of his pipe and listened very intently. When Cal was done, Vos launched into his questions. "Has your friend influenced something? She is, after all, a nightsister."

"No..."

"How can you be sure?"

"I don't think Merrin's at fault here."

"You've spent considerable time with her, and you two seem to be rather close." Vos shook his head. "I was you once, a long time ago. My Assajj was a very complicated woman, and being around her, she had taught me many things."

Cal shook his own head in response. "I've been doing research of the Zeffo for a long time, and in my visions, I'm always in the cavern with the Zeffo statue looking over me. I've collected these Zeffo artefacts across the galaxy. I feel like my visions, my dreams are connected to those artefacts, and they're trying to tell me something." 

Vos took one good long look at Cal before inhaling his pipe. "You are probably right, padawan. It seems like they are showing you something, but you must conquer the Dark side before they can reveal the truth to you. They want to know if you are strong enough. Whatever they want to show you cannot be blessed upon just to anyone else. Wherever you're planning to go after you solve the mystery, it may not be so pleasant, thus the challenge of the Dark side." 

"I think you're right." Cal bowed slightly. "Thank you for your guidance." 

"Is that all, Jedi?"

"Yes."

"I sense another...unrelated unease in you."

Cal shifted. "I'm not sure if it's appropriate to bring it up to you."

"The Force has brought us together for a reason. Anyone can give you the conclusion that the Zeffo and your dreams are connected." He let out a small, playful smile. "Sorry kid. But there is something else you want to confess to me, I see."

Cal took a deep slow breath. "I've done many things that I would always sometimes think were mistakes. Destroying the Holocron, turning my friends Cere and Greez and the Mantis away and going alone to search for the Zeffo." He tightened his fists. He felt the bandage around his palms. "I turned Merrin away to keep myself faithful to the Jedi way." 

"If you ever find these Zeffo, what do you think will happen? Join them? Bring them back to the galaxy and restore their ancient reign?"

"Assuming they're alive, somewhere in space." 

Vos's pipe had run out of t'bac. He pulled a small box from his pockets and tried to refill his pipe. "You are lost, and you are searching for something. But you're not sure what you're looking for. Tell me, Cal, what do you seek? Are you sure that it's not with you all along?"

Cal pressed his thinning lips together. "I cannot turn away from the teachings of the Jedi Order. It's the only thing I know, and the only thing that's anchoring me into reality. Without it, I am lost, and I cannot let it go so easily."

"The Jedi are gone, but that does not mean you must go to the path of the Dark side. Light and dark are not two extremes, but a spectrum. Do not worry about your allegiance to which side, but worry about what you think is good and what is right. Your heart will be freer this way."

"You are asking me to walk down the Grey line."

"Even Grey teachings I heartily disagree with. To commit to never choosing a side is an extremity in itself. What I'm asking you is to let go."

"But that doesn't explain why I'm sick. These visions, the Inquisitor..." He held the lightsaber wound that ached his side. "If I do not solve the Zeffo challenge, if it really is a challenge from them and not an illness, then I feel like I would finally be consumed by the Dark side." 

"In your visions, do you fight alone?" 

"Yes. I've asked my friend for help and to meditate with me, but it hasn't worked."

"It hasn't worked, or do you keep turning her away?" He let the silence sit between them for a while. He took a few more puffs before continuing. "My padawan, I think you know the answer to heal the Darkness in your heart. It cannot be done alone. You knew this from the very beginning, but you need guidance. You and I were destined to meet because my role is to show you the way. There is hope in you. It was too late for me, but it is not too late for you. You know what to do. You must trust me on this." 

Before Cal could internalize this, he sensed unease in the Force, which gave him an almost electric jolt. BD-1, who had been sitting on his crossed lap the entire time, beeped in response to his surprise. 

Vos seemed to feel it as well. Cal began to stand up, and the small droid readjusted himself upon his companion's shoulders. "I have to go. My friend needs me."

As soon as he turned around, he looked back. "Come with us. You don't have to keep hiding. You can be safe with us, and I could learn so much from you." 

Vos shook his head. "Nobody can know I am alive, not even the surviving Jedi, whoever it is left out there. I have fallen into the Dark side too deeply, and my connection has been tainted. I am a servant of the light, but I am beyond saving, and beyond redemption."

Vos held out his palm towards the young man. "May the Force be with you, Cal Kestis. I hope you find wisdom in the stars and the ancients. But know you are not alone in the universe."

  
##

  
Cal didn't shut the door behind him. Vos stood up from the floor, his bones aching from sitting that way for so long, and stopped by the doorway. He watched the young man sprint away, going up to the surface of the moon again and into the sprawling city. Vos lingered, looking upon the darkness of the sunken underground city in which he hid and dwelled and was waiting to rot alone. 

"My Assajj," Vos whispered to no one. "I wish you are here with me to see this. I pray these two never go down the path where we both went wrong." 

  
##

Cal tried searching for Merrin throughout the city. The disturbance in the Force was brief and had already gone by the time he left Vos's home, but he wanted to make sure he could scour the city as much as he could of the possible dangers that could impose on him and his friend. He tried reaching into the Force to sense the missing presence, but the growing emotional turmoil in himself and the weakness that was coming from his wound were weighing him down and making him unfocused. 

The day was coming to an end and nightfall was coming. Cal finally gave up and made his way out to the city. He rushed into their ship, and almost barged through the door. He stumbled through the darkness. He looked into the cockpit, found no one and was preparing to shout for his friend throughout the ship until he saw Merrin in their kitchenette. She was sitting on a chair, hands on the table, staring into space. She was fiddling with her necklace. 

"Are you okay?" Cal whispered as he approached her.

"No."

"What happened?"

Merrin turned her face away. He tried to move around to face her, but she simply turned away again. 

"Are we just going to hide from each other from now on?" Cal said. 

"I do not want to be laid so bare," Merrin hissed. "What did I do to deserve to be so vulnerable like this?"

BD-1 left Cal's shoulder and jumped into Merrin's lap. He made a series of clicking and small noises, signifying his worry towards his female friend. Merrin let go of her necklace and placed a gentle hand on the droid's head. Her expression softened.

Cal held her hand that was still on the table. She shook it out, stood up and walked to the cockpit, holding BD-1. She turned towards the view of Jedha City at night.

Cal followed her, speaking behind her back. "Please, don't turn me away. I'm sorry." 

"For what?" 

"I should not have turned you away. For some reason, I couldn't accept your friendship, because I was afraid. I was afraid of loss, and attachment, and everything the Jedi told me that would make me fall into the Dark side. They told me that there shouldn't be emotion, but peace. No passion, but serenity. But I couldn't help but be afraid of losing you. I've become so paranoid because of the visions, the dreams of the Dark side finally winning over me. And in the end, I've hurt you. I'm sorry. To be perfectly honest, Merrin, I--" 

"Cal. Look."

Cal stopped and looked beyond the transparisteel of the ship. Above the Holy City, a Star Destroyer came out of hyperspace, and more of its friends were following suit. There were enough ships for a whole invasion and colonization project. The Empire had finally arrived in Jedha.

"No..." Cal whispered. 

"We have to go," Merrin said. She got into the pilot's seat, put on her headset, and started the engines of the ship. BD-1 jumped from her arms and also got into work, doing pre-flight checks and systems. Once everything was powered up, Cal took the reins from her and began writing down their coordinates to the nearest safe system they could go into hiding.

Merrin brought out her talisman and began her work of cloaking the ship into invisibility. She couldn't hold it for too long, but it would be enough time that they would not be spotted once they were far enough away for a jump. They flew quietly up to the sky, and they watched with dread as smaller ships came out of hyperspace and made the descent to the moon. The enemy did not spot the _Coven Defiance_ sailing around them. Once they were outside the moon, the _Coven_ prepared for the jump to hyperspace. Cal thought about the Holy City and its sacred sites. He thought about the Kyber Temple, and its protectorates, the Guardian of the Whills. He thought of the pilgrims that would come to pay their respects. The Empire would be after all of them, and they would destroy and plunder everything sacred to the believers of the Force. He thought, last and most importantly of all the old, worn down Jedi he met in the underground city. A Jedi who was so much like Cal in so many ways. "Vos..."

The hyperdrive generator was ready. Merrin looked at him expectantly. Cal gulped away the anxiety in his throat and pushed the accelerator forward. They entered hyperspeed, but a piece of both their souls seemed to have been left behind. 

  
##

"It seems like everywhere we go, Imperials just happen to follow us." Cal took off his headset and went back into the interior of the ship. His shoulders felt heavier now that they had left behind Jedha. The events of the day were finally weighing down on him. He thought of the splendor of the Holy City being tarnished by the Empire, its devotees arrested and enslaved. The resources plundered, the sacred kyber crystals stolen by God-knows-what weapons of mass destruction they want to create to continue the reign of fear across the galaxy. The thought of the old Jedi being found and taken away by the stormtroopers....

Merrin made a few more adjustments to the ship's auto-pilot mode before she followed him. "Do not internalize it within yourself that you are the one they are after. The Empire wants nothing but to expand and conquer, Jedi or no Jedi, you know this."

Cal turned to her. "But they'll hurt everyone if they knew I'm a Jedi." He could never forget Prauf. "That's why we have to be on the move."

"On the move, but not hiding. Do you want to go back into hiding, Cal?"

"No, that's not what I meant. We just need to keep going and we can't stop for anything." Cal realized that his breathing was shallow and that his hands were shaking. He took deep breaths to calm himself and rubbed his hands for warmth. "My visions, they're connected to the Zeffo. I have a feeling they're trying to communicate with me through the artefacts we found. I don't know if they're ghosts in the Force or if they're out there, connecting to me through some kind of linkage through the Force." 

"But something is standing in the way."

"Yeah. The Dark Side." 

Merrin pushed past him. She seemed to be making her way to her quarters when she stopped. "Are you afraid?" Merrin whispered. Her back was still towards him. She crossed her arms together, almost defensively.

Cal thought quietly for a long while. "Yes. I'm afraid."

"Of me?"

"Of losing you. I'm not afraid of you if that's what you're thinking."

"What about the Dark side?" Merrin turned to him. "It is haunting you. You _should_ be afraid of me."

"I would not be afraid of my closest friend. But I am afraid of going somewhere I have never dared to venture."

"This journey with you is already clouded with the unknown. We can never predict the future."

"You're right."

"Why are you afraid now?"

"It's being lost that I'm scared of."

"You know I will follow you." She didn't sound so sure of that. The unwavering loyalty she used to have with him seemed to be fading away. And her eyes, often gleaming with light and stars, looked empty in the darkness. "I will make sure to be at your side, so you can never be lost."

"What if it comes to a time where you can't?"

She was quiet for a while. "Then I will go alone, and finish the journey we both started."

Cal let himself smile a little. It was the sad reality of their situation. Merrin could never follow Cal into his visions and fight the Dark side in him together. But truth be told, she was the only thing that kept him anchored at the moment. For what seemed to be an act of over-exhaustion and longing, he found himself wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "I'm sorry," he muttered. 

He felt her shoulders go tense from the embrace. "Go to your room, Cal." She whispered against his clothes. "You need to rest."

"You're right." Cal hugged her tighter. "But I want to have this. May I have this?"

There was a two-second silence. And very faintly, her voice in the darkness. "Yes."

She relaxed and snaked her arms around his waist and they stayed there for a long time. So many thoughts ran in Cal's head. At that moment, he felt so close to her. The things he wanted to say, the things he wanted to do. He was gripped with so much anxiety. One move, one word, he could be with Merrin at his side with him or lose her forever. 

They broke their embrace and Merrin looked into Cal's eyes. Cal moved his gaze away and placed his head on Merrin's shoulder. "I'm exhausted," Cal could barely say.

Merrin lifted his chin gently with her fingers. "Rest." 

His eyes were intense. "I'm scared of my dreams." 

"Then rest with me." 

Cal didn't protest when Merrin led him to her small quarters. It was just as unassuming as anything that was considered Merrin's, much more so since her room was not littered with Zeffo and Jedi artefacts. She was not a worldly person to own worldly possessions. There was only a small bedroll in the middle of the room. She unrolled it and placed her friend down gently on it. "Eyes closed, Cal."

He obliged. He felt too weak to say anything to her. He felt her presence beside him, laying herself down on the cold metal floor, but draping a warm wool blanket on top of both of them. This way, they could share their warmth.

"Sleep. Tomorrow, we will speak of what lies ahead." 

"Yeah. Thank you." 

The quiet crept between them, and the hum of the small ship's engine remained. It was the only thing that kept the silence from being complete. Merrin drifted to sleep first. Cal tried to follow suit, despite the comfort of his friend with him. But the disturbing events and thoughts of the day kept haunting him. When he figured Merrin was asleep, he sat up and sighed. He looked back down at his friend, who did not stir at his movements.

Even when they were still with the Stinger Mantis, he tried not to look at her sleeping form when he wanted to sneak into the kitchen to get a glass of water or juice. In the journeys and missions and bounties they took part in, they slept together in close quarters, but it was always framed around the necessity of the situation, nothing more. With the growing hesitation of his feelings, he now had to second-guess everything he did. Only at this point did Cal take the time to really take in his friend's form. It was not want for physicality, but an emotional starvation he felt ever since the Purge, ever since the death of his Master. 

The walls between them could come down and he could feel fulfilled. He didn't have to live like this, in suffering. However, the thought of him being a failed Jedi Knight still lingered.

He could barely make his friend's sleeping body in the low light of the room. He moved a few strands of her hair away from her sleeping face, then he noticed something. In her hand, she held her talisman close to her heart. It was faintly glowing green, as if it was calling to him. Cal ruminated about his options. After a minute, he reached out and gingerly took it from her hand, sliding it carefully away from her fingers. Once it was successfully extracted, she stirred for a moment and then turned away from him. 

He looked down at one of the few things Merrin owned and brought with her. The green glow seemed to be getting brighter. He got up and started to make his exit from Merrin's room. BD-1, who was at their side in low-power mode, came to life and beeped quietly, inquiring about his motivations. He placed a finger on his lips. "Stay with her," he said. "I'll be back." 

Across the small hallway were his own quarters, where the Zeffo artefact collection and his meditation circle waited for him. He settled himself in the middle of his circle, cupping Merrin's talisman with two hands on his lap. He took deep breaths and began clearing his mind. It was getting difficult to enter his meditative state. Through the Force, the Zeffo artefacts began humming around him.

Once he had achieved the deepest state of relaxation, Cal's mind was sucked into a vortex and into the void.

##

  
He was back here again, into the darkness of his mind. The cavern, the effigy, the chains, the Life Wind symbols, and the cold, pale Inquisitor were waiting for him in the middle of the arena. 

The Inquisitor didn't wait for Cal to get his bearings. He simply advanced towards him with unnerving confidence. Cal, still disoriented from the pull to this place, took several steps back and forced himself to focus. He noticed his own lightsaber in his hand, but on his other hand was Merrin's talisman. Before Cal could even understand the implications of this new change, the Inquisitor surged, ignited his red lightsaber, and made an upward slash towards Cal's face. The young Jedi barely parried with his own weapon. He quickly put away the artefact and locked himself in a duel with his dark counterpart. 

They sparred for a long while. No one was winning, but no one was losing. Given the rate they were going at, however, Cal felt a little bit more confident. With every step forward he took, and every offense he took a chance on even though it could be parried or dodged, he felt like he was getting the upper hand here. Cal studied the Inquisitor's moves, and he started to notice patterns and strategies. Each vision was always different. His counterpart would always come back to the cavern with new tricks and ways to play dirty, and Cal would always have to learn everything from the start. It was why these fights took more than a hundred tries, and it wouldn't be surprising if it took another hundred more.

Just as Cal was becoming dangerously confident, his guard broke and he staggered back. The Inquisitor saw an opening and was able to cut through the fabric of Cal's workpants. The lightsaber sliced through one of his pockets, and Merrin's talisman went bouncing and scuttling to the ground. 

Cal reached through the Force to pull it back towards him, and the Inquisitor had the same idea. With hands outstretched, the two found themselves in a tug of war with the talisman in between them, floating in the air, pulled in two different directions with such friction. 

They were locked into this tug for what felt like an eternity. Finally, it flew to Cal's hand. It was too late for him to realize that the Inquisitor was following closely with it. He moved so quickly, almost sailing through the air, up until he was at Cal's face. 

Cal was met with a blinding red light across his eyes. A burning sensation was felt across his head. He screamed in agony, letting go of his saber and the talisman to clutch his searing face. The Inquisitor picked up the dropped artefact with his hand. He studied it first before he looked down on Cal. 

"You brought a new play toy with you, and yet you lost." He sneered. "That just proves who you really are. _Weak_. And unworthy." To finish his monologue, he drove his red lightsaber through Cal's chest.

  
##

  
He was pulled back from his vision and into the real world by an unknown force. Whoever or whatever pulled him out there, he wasn't sure, but it was just in the nick of time. One second later and the consequences could be greater than he would have thought. 

Cal's breath was hard and deep, his throat dry from all the heaving he had done during his meditation. He was gripping Merrin's talisman tightly in his hands. He opened his eyes, but he was still met with a dark room. He untangled his legs and got up groggily, feeling for the lights of his quarters. When he found it, the darkness still remained.

Cal's face scrunched up with worry. He flipped the switches a few times to see if it would make any difference. He placed his hands on the wall. Vibrations could be felt under his skin, and the hum of the engines rang in his ears. The ship was still running, and he was sure they were still in hyperspace.

"Merrin...?" Cal called out. He stumbled out of his room, hands outstretched to feel the darkness. Even the hallways are dark. He could not see the kitchenette or the cockpit. "Are you there?"

He opened the door to Merrin's room. He heard BD-1 come up to him, a series of beeps, worries, and concerns. His Dathomirian companion was stirring herself awake. "Cal?" she mumbled.

"I think there's something wrong with the ship."

"The ship?"

"It's gone dark." Cal felt BD-1 climb up to his shoulders. He felt Merrin move closer to him. He offered his hands and she held them. "Has it?"

A brief silence passed. "No. The ship is fine."

Dread was building on his chest. "What's happening to me?"

Her hands moved up and cupped his face instead. He had a feeling that she was studying him closely. BD-1 panicked, telling him in binary about a potential bacta treatment for his eyes. If only Cal could see Merrin's face, to see her expression. Her sense of worry was discernible in the air around them. 

He knew what happened from the beginning. He was just in denial when he came back from his meditation session. He knew about the consequences of becoming vulnerable. He knew about the consequences of letting himself get pulled into these Visions. This was the only way he could foster and deepen his connection to the Force, whatever's left of it, or else he would lose it all, let it fade away as he had done when he was hiding in Bracca. He knew that these visions also were the key to the Zeffo trail. He knew what was at risk, _he knew_.

But the consequences were finally catching up with him; he finally lost a battle against the Dark side. 

"Merrin," he croaked quietly. His face was so close to hers. "I can't see." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops


End file.
